Guess I’m back, yeah.

I don’t know why this affects me so much these days but if I don’t spit it out, I’ll turn emo.

You know, when you’re fat (I mean it), and your looks are just mediocre like an ordinary girl’s, and then a pretty-ass slim girl passes you by wearing this red hot pants and cardigan in front of you with awesome, unbelievable legs, will you feel as pressurised as I am? I am fat, this is real and I’m not someone slim trying to be humble. These days, I keep coming across blogs with people naturally gorgeous, yes without Photoshop or image editor. If you do feel pressurised to grow slim, then you’re like me. Recently, I just lost like 10 kilos with exercise and I’m down to 79 kilos. It’s still a lot, okay? But when you realised that you have lost weight, an unimaginable surge of self-esteem and confidence overwhelms you and you’ll feel happy :) These days I really do feel a lot better than last year when I ate fast food for like 3 times a week and every month I would gain at least 2 kilos. I’m finally feeling the motivation now, after two years of trying really hard to concentrate on losing weight.

You know, the best motivation is to have to see various kinds of sexaye legs everyday but please don’t starve yourself, though a mild starve is okay ;x

Crush.

“I know this crush ain’t going away,” David Archuleta “Crush”.

I don’t know why I featured this song in my blog today. The only thing I know is that I’m going to be a very huge fan of David :) He should’ve won the American Idol with his awesome voice! 

*Laughs* Oh well, enough of all that idol fantasizing. Nothing much is going on in my life recently. I’m happy that I’ve recovered from my MapleStory addiction but after that, there’s nothing for me to do other than going out. I know it’s easy for you to ask me to go out with my friends and stuff but even with friends, I cannot be myself. I cannot laugh out loud like I always do. I cannot do all the things I feel like doing with them. But when I’m out with my cousins or aunts, I can do all sorts of things I want and I feel very comfortable being near them. Because I’m fat, I cannot wear stylish clothes that’s in the trend. I can only wear shirts and pants. My friends see them and they start laughing at me. I’ve tried various ways to try to slim down. I did lose some weight, but there wasn’t any difference in my size and they continued to laugh at me. I gave up wanting to go out with them. When I was with my cousins and aunts, they teased me too but I didn’t feel so angry as I did with my friends. If you ask me why I can only wear shirts and pants, I’ll tell you that it’s my mother’s fault. Until now, all the clothes that I wear in my everyday life are picked by my mother. It’s like my clothes don’t even belong to me anymore. When I bought some ‘in the trend’ clothes for myself that are even my size, my mother doesn’t allow me to wear them and even scolded me. I’m exclusively sick of trying so hard just to make others’ view of me pleasant to look at. After all, my efforts are futile.

Byebye, readers!♥

Circus.

I know that many have already known of Britney Spears’ new album “Circus”. This is for the benefit of those who don’t know. As a die-hard Britney fan, I highly recommend this album. Great tracks like “Circus”, “Womanizer” and “If U Seek Amy (F.U.C.K Me)” should be in anyone’s collection. Please buy a copy and support her comeback. I think that it took a lot of courage and determination to return to the stage to perform once again. 

That’s all. Thanks for reading and I love you, Britney!♥

Fruitful days.

Heeh.

Yesterday officially marks the end of the examinations and the post-examination activites. Probably that’s why I want to write about the things that happened during the three days of activities.

The first day was named A Walk To Remember. Hellxzs, it definitely was worth remembering. It was nothing but continuous walking with a pathetic two to three minutes of rest. Nevertheless, it was pretty fun. Charmaine and Vidya were behind cracking jokes and the people at the front were laughing. I commented that it was like a desert, without the trees and grass. After that we reached Punggol End and we saw some men fishing. If there weren’t fishing rods, we would’ve mistaken that the men were selling ice-cream. Hahaha! After passing Punggol End, we stopped under the scorching hot sun to eat and drink the sandwiches and bottled water that the school prepared. As I mentioned, it only lasted two to three minutes before we headed out again. When we walked back, I realised that the distance was much shorter than the distance we walked in. It turned out that they were of the same distance. Lol! Just when I thought that the worst was over, we started walking from there to Punggol Beach, where the World War II site is. Many died there, but the problem was not that. It was that were were walking again! ): Grrh! When we reached that, we had a break of half an hour. Mr. Tan gathered us together to take a class photo. He counted 1-2-3, but snapped the photo at 2! Idiot, haha! After the break, we WALKED back to school and had another half an hour break. After that, we were released to go back home. I had a long shower manxzs.

The next day, we had a chance to bowl again, at the Orchid Country Club. Ever since last year. Well last year was different because I didn’t bother to try bowling at all. This time I did! :) I was assigned to bowl at lane 11, with Chinyong, Mingche, Cedric and Keekiat. I was thinking about why do I always get teamed up with Cedric in everything. I hope it’s not my FATE. Keekiat keyed in the names of those who wanted to play in our lane. Chinyong and Mingche were busy playing their Playstation Portable, so they didn’t want to bowl. So Keekiat keyed in Cedric’s, his’, and my name. I was to go first. I was nervous and I felt regret. But when I slid my fingers into the three holes of the bowling ball, my feet regained energy and I felt the excitement. I went ahead and gave my first shot. I couldn’t remember how many “bottles” fell. But I knew it wasn’t bad. I then gave the second shot. I felt happy. Cedric’s ball kept going to the sides and therefore missed plenty of “bottles”. Keekiat was real professional. He knew how to hold the bowling ball and how to roll it properly. We played three games in total. In the second game, I had my first strike! I felt like jumping for joy but it was pretty embarrassing to do so. In our third game, Cedric left to eat. Misters Hisham, Khoo, Zul and Tan joined in our game. I was pretty much frustrated since I’ve to wait so long for my turn. The teachers were battling each other I heard. They had so many strikes! I was envious of them. At 11.30am, Ms. Tan announced that time was up and we got to return to school. 

On the third day, we were supposed to attend the Water Trail at the Singapore Science Centre. To be exact, the name of the trail was Water H2O = Life. Before the actual trail, we had to attend a Water lecture, where we learn the basic facts about water. I sat in the front row with Jingwen, Joey (eww…!), Jeslyn and Charmaine at the front row. Besslyn soon came to sit with me. We were gossiping about the bitches and complaining about the lecture because we already learnt plenty of the things before. The lecture ended and we headed for the actual trail where there were exhibits about water. Jeslyn pulled my arm to urge me to follow her. There is a machine where it can measure the amount of water in our bodies. At the end of the trail, Ms. Nicole was instructing us to go outside where we waited for our buses to arrive. Then the bitch called Mabel purposely hit my ass with her booklet and Thricia and Zhaomin laughed. I felt like pushing them till they fall so they can feel embarrassment. I ignored them and then my legs got numb. I’m the type where you can’t sit cross-legged for too long without stretching. My leg got less numb when the bus arrived, phew! When we got into the bus, I sat in the second row. Awhile later I felt that my skirt was wet on the front. The A/C was leaking! I ignored that and slept for the half hour trip back to school.

That’s pretty much all of it, toodles!♥

Nice caption image :)

From; Xquisitekisses

LOL !

NABUEYPUACHEEBYE! BIG FUCK SIBO? YOU’RE JUST A DOG WHICH HELPS THE MASTER CARRY BOOKS AND THINGS NIA. ALSO, THEY DON’T FEED YOU EITHER.

ROFLMAO.

I don’t even know why I’m angry ’bout this.

Like you’re so thick skinned, I suppose? Act like you’re not a twit but in fact you are. Can’t believe it, ahlian. More like a DOG, can? Walk around in that pathetic miniskirt tryna’ show off your ’sexy’ legs, huh? *PUKES!* Always following others and bugging others to follow you to put up a front that you have MANY friends. Like, as if? People find you so annoying with that act cute voice. I think that voice makes you sound like a OLD MAN. Always thinking you’re like anime characters, but in real fact, you don’t seem or sound or look or even act like them. Always thinking and badmouthing your family members. Don’t you think you owe them something for paying for your stuff since young? Even though they may treat you badly or unfairly, you still owe them a fucking debt alright? If you’re working for your own benefit, just go to hell. I’d rather pay them back if I were you. BITCH. Don’t think I don’t know about it though, that whoever our classmates don’t like, you follow them. This is another of your DOG traits eh? Even if they detest me, they detest you too.

P.S. Joey is a fucking bitch, just like you.

Hey again :D

Have you seen someone more pathetic in your life? Huh, you haven’t?

Fatass bitch, did you ever think that i’ll stop writing my feelings down? It’s wrong to write vulgar about someone. True, in a good way. But i’m not some righteous person alright. I don’t care or want to know what your feelings are. I think i’ve tolerated this too much. Everyone thinks that you’re always right and never do wrong because you have good grades and is the teachers’ favourite. I guess the saying goes, “Good girls are bad girls that never get caught”. Even if you’re truly good, it can never stop my jealousy anyway. And secret blogs are not meant for anyone to read too. So why did you read it? To get hurt and gain other’s sympathy? Guess what, when you were hurt, so many people came to encourage you, comfort you. What about me? When my blog was spammed, who helped me? When i got hurt inside, who was there to listen to me? Everyone thinks that what i say are just plain rubbish and are words out of anger. I know, you don’t trust me because I lied once. But, even so, does that mean i’m not human? Am I an alien? Am I some monster without a heart? I always cried alone, nobody ever sees. Except my parents maybe. Everytime I wanted to cry, be it in school or outside, I swallowed my tears just to make sure nobody sees. Was it worth it for me to get hurt? I know you’re hurt, but don’t you think you’re too much? I feel that you’re trying to harm me, trying to get me into trouble. Even if that ain’t the truth, you still made me feel that way. If you don’t want others to get hurt because of you, why can’t you tell them they start hating you? Did you know how the jealousy crept in? Because you joined the choir with me, and you stole teacher’s attention. It may sound childish or something to you, but you made me this way. If I apologised to you, will you apologise to me too?

Well, i’mma not think about this for a week, since it’s the holidays and I wouldn’t have to see her. Kindly gtfa.

Go the fuck away.

TEST{!}

would i be able to smile like that again ?

WordPress is so damn cool! the image has a special box, with the caption below it. Unlike the stupid Blogger. When I want to type text beside it, I always end up erasing the picture and therefore I have to reupload it.

So, this is just a test! (:

Hey yo!♥

I’m backkkkk~ from school that is.

School life is horrible here. Koreans too. At least we get to sleep early while the young kids in Korea can barely catch a few hours of rest. We’re considered fortunate. But the thing is, why must i come to school if I have so little interest in it? I’m only interested in singing, you crazy idiots. You guys, especially the PM, say we have to study as it’s for our own good. Like hello? Even the olympic contestants weren’t really born in Singapore. You guys only want us to study. Why? So that we can work in the future to let us pay the idiotic government who just sit down there, eating away taxpayer’s money? At least work a lil’. Doesn’t mean you’re rich and you can do whatever you want. Some are even worse than us. They’re working maybe ten times as hard as us just to get a little bit of money? They don’t deserve it alright? Some perhaps is related to retribution or karma, but plenty are innocent people. Fucking bastards. lower down your daily pay alright? Just stfu on your broken promises.

Hahaha, venting my anger on the previous paragraph. Well, school’s so goddamned mothafucking boring. All we do is to wake up so early in the morning to attend the lessons. You’re eating on my beauty sleep. Have you ever seen my panda eyes and eyebags? They look effing horrible! I make sure i’ll beat the hell outta MOE when i’m older, idc if i get caught or something. Today’s a better day then the previous two days.

To some peepo:

Like hello? You yourself ask me to say about someone’s faults in front of their faces. What about you? Always being sarcastic behind my back only. “steppx 0neex ahhliiannzxzx w0rhhxz . iie shh0 scareeddx derhhxz w0rhhxz .” I’m like, ew? Twitters suck, not the widget, the widget rocks, what I mean are the posers. Don’t just because you’re slim, you rebond your hair, you have fbts doesn’t mean you can say whatever, do whatever, act like whatever you want. ‘Cause it’s silly, totally retarded and you’re acting like such a bitch. I probably should have admitted that i wrote on rachel’s table (even though i jolly well know i didn’t) that you’re a hundred and one percent slut. Idc anymore, whatever. I spoke enough nice words, O didn’t show my attitude anymore and in the end the faults end up on me. And just simply fuck off. I don’t talk doesn’t mean i’m dumb or lifeless. Stop calling me a freak, ’cause you’re the whore here. That time during literature, we’re supposed to write about three things that annoy you by your friends. I wrote, “I hate people who wear shirts that are tight, and the person knows that it’s too tight for her as well.” When you read, you said you agreed. But in a sarcastic way. I know you’re saying me, but it’s true anyway. Not like some stupid emotional person cry whenever I backstab her. I was guilty okay, that’s right. What about you? you deem that everything you do is right and i’m wrong. Just because i’ve turned into someone who doesn’t do homework doesn’t let you ignore me. You have some faults too. When no one talks to you, you come to me. When winona or jingwen is around you completely ignore me and talk to them, like i’m some kind of transparent glass or something. You probably mentioned that when she stepped into your life, she made you believe that there are true friends. Excuse me? who tried to approach you during orientation camp huh? When you showed off and laughed at my grades, I didn’t tried not to take it to heart. I thought maybe you’d change, but you kept doing this again and again until i couldn’t stand you and had to blog about you. That 12 June post is still there, that was my first complaint about you, not a goddamned backstab scenario. I’ve been more hurt than you before alright? It’s not as if you’re the only one on earth that wasn’t backstabbed before. Did anyone console me? No. Until i found my first best friend in the worldddddd~ Fang Liyu. We lost contact since last year. But she’s the one that forever stood up for me when I got bullied. She told me how to communicate with boys and that’s how I managed to get along with boy classmates. When I lost contact with her, I made a promise to myself, to find a friend that understands your feelings, actions and who will be your Aunt Agony. I did find a great friend. But this friend wants me to change my ways, change until everyone in class is happy. Do you understand me? I’m not like some average human where I can change anytime I want. A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots.

Whatevers for now, buhbyes!♥